After
listening to the Loving Kindness lesson, I was left feeling frustrated. I found it a bit difficult to focus on taking
on or feeling the suffering of those who have hurt me and giving out feelings
of loving kindness in return. I do not
harbor ill-will toward anyone, I try to forgive and move on. To focus on hurts and to be forced to re-live
painful experiences, in my opinion, does not do me any good psychologically, it
just brings up negative feelings from my past.
There are areas where I will always have scars and to revisit them in
hopes of some kind of further healing when I have already moved past them is
more detrimental to my mental health than beneficial to me learning to practice
loving kindness. I don’t think I would
recommend this to someone else. I would
suggest instead prayer or meditation on Scripture to learn how God expects and
wants us to respond to others. He does
want us to love each other and forgive.
This exercise just did not help me move any closer to that.
The
concept of “mental workout” is the practice of control over your mental
state. Since research has shown
connections to thoughts and physical events, a method of keeping the negative
out and allowing the positive to flourish encompasses the concept of mental
workout. This goes beyond meditation,
relaxation and/or other stress reduction techniques, and moves to a
contemplative state or higher level of consciousness. The benefits are better physiologic health. Such a workout requires daily practice and
discipline in order to train the mind as you would train the physical
body. Setting aside a dedicated time
frame in which to practice contemplative techniques is essential, according to
Dasher, to reach human flourishing.
I am still
“contemplating” what I think about all of these theories. When asked, I find it hard to define “mental
workout” because although Dacher throws the term around a lot, he never really
defines what it is, it is just a lot of talk about nothing. He never defines this higher level of
consciousness either. I am not at all
impressed thus far and think in a course such as this that we should not be
spending so much time on the teachings of this one man when there are a whole
range of other spiritual practices out there that affect wellness.
Perhaps we
are too early in the course and we will get there. I am finding it more and more difficult to
hang with Mr. Dacher. Perhaps I should go
back to my exercise and practice some loving kindness toward him!
I do agree with you Sheila, sometimes it is worse to revisit those old wounds instead of just dealing with them and being done with them. I remember when I was in foster care my therapist would ask me over and over about different areas in my life and the things that had happened. After about 8 or 9 months, I asked her if we could just MOVE ON! I was starting high school and back then I knew I needed to move forward instead of dealing with the past over and over.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Ann
Hi Ann,
ReplyDeleteWow that must have been tough. You know, as I moved through my separation and eventual divorce, I realized that everyone has "stuff". I used to think that I was the only person in the world who had "stuff' and that everyone else around me had it all together. It was not until I began to share my experience with others that I found the encouragement I needed to get through because I realized they had stuff too, it was just different stuff.
It is good to talk about it and get it out...but if you are able to process it and move on, I see no reason to keep bringing back the past and the hurt that comes with it.
How strong you are for seeing that at such a young age and being able to move forward in such a positive way.
You go girl!
Hi Sheila, I agree with what you wrote to Ann that she is amazing. She knew at such a young age, that rehashing past memories can sometimes be detrimental to our physical, psychospiritual health. It is very difficult to find a good therapist. I agree that everyone has "stuff". I always say, no one is without a story to tell. I also believe that women deal differently than men. That is where Dacher comes in. Perhaps this is his medical, male profession coming out. He is black and white, even if he is talking about mind/body/spirit. I like his book, but the exercises have not been impressive for me either.
ReplyDelete